Only a thousand you's

Today was supposed to suck, but it fortunately turned out to be a good day.

Let me explain!

I woke up early to write an essay for my English class, which was tonight from 6:30-9. It's every Monday. Last week, I didn't do the homework which was to write a few different paragraphs for our introduction and evaluative fallacy paragraph for our essay. We would've gone over it in class, and it would've been pointless for me to sit there and not be able to participate in the peer editing he has us do. So I ditched and saw Megamind 3D alone, and it was awesome. So anyway, I was thinking the final draft was going to be due tonight so I woke up to finish it before my other class. I'm just about finished with it when I finally looked at the calendar and realized the final draft is due next week. Feel such a relief. Finished the other vocabulary homework, feelin' good. Get there early, as always, and sit n' wait for the professor to let us in. I ask the dude next to me what happened in class last week, and he says the teacher left a note on the door and said there was no class. I was fucking stoked, I didn't miss anything. So tonight he comes and apologizes to everyone, and we take both tonight's vocabulary quiz along with last week's. And we do the peer editing and I get all the credit I thought I had lost. And the final draft isn't even due next week, it's due in two weeks! Only the rough draft is due next week. And also, I checked my grade that he posts on the wall...I have a B again! What a fucking relief.

I have another class every Monday, 3-4:15 (but usually drags on to 4:30 because he won't look at the damn clock.) It's visual communications dealing with multimedia. It's a cool class I guess, but it usually never makes sense. The professor is dealing with medical issues and some other shit I'm assuming, because he has really fallen behind on the class. Around the fourth week he stopped posting the threads for us to submit our assignments. And he even stopped posting the quizzes. The first day of class there was probably around thirty people enrolled, and by the third class only seven or so show up. And we are the only ones who ever show up. And the hour or so we spend in that freezing room is just one big awkward moment. It's always silent, and the professor is just not doing well. He's a nice guy but sometimes he forgets what points he's making, or just tells stories so slow that people are falling asleep left and right. I try to talk and participate, but his questions are so...stupid. He asks these questions, and we answer correctly. And he is never happy with what he have to say, he comes up with the most obvious answer. The answer that was way too fucking obvious to say, it's just a known fact. I don't know, it's hard to explain. It can get frustrating. But anyways, he finally updated the threads and told us that we have a lot of time to upload all our assignments. And we can take whatever quiz we haven't. He said it would be hypocritical and wrong if he didn't allow us to turn this shit in, and he's right. It's not our fault. So that's also a big relief.

My computer information systems class is going alright. I don't have a good grade right now but I will after this Wednesday. It's every Wednesday, 11-12ish. Missed class last week so I missed the chapter seven quiz, so now I have to take that after the chapter eight quiz this week. I'm going to study and everything will be fine. Leave me alone.

Tomorrow, err...today is going to be a productive day. I have to write my essay for art history Wednesday night. It's worth a big chunk of my grade, and I'm just about failing in there. And I need to get my shit together in there. Got a group project still to do before next week's class. This is the only class I'm really stressed about.

I can't fucking wait for this semester to be over. That's all I have to say about that.

I've really had the worst luck this month though. Just a bunch of accidents and unfortunate incidents. I got hit in the face by a water bottle at work, leaving a nice bruise/bump under my eye. A fellow employee spilled slurpee juice on my back and ruined my white shirt. While taking the trash out by myself, I stepped in a big puddle formed by the nasty liquids dripping out of the trash compactor. Fucking gross. I have so many bruises from just being too damn clumsy. My toenail is on the verge of falling off. It's been fucking months, and I've been patiently waiting. Although now I realize I don't want it to fall off, because it'll take forever to grow back. Ugh. And I'm pretty sure I had an allergic reaction or something to this new face moisturizer my mom gave me. My skin just feels rough and irritated, I'm so pissed. I'm falling apart lately, waaaaaaah.

This past month in general just sucked. I lost my way, and kept telling myself I was getting back on track. But I wasn't. I procrastinated until I couldn't anymore. And I'm paying for it now. My body aches from sleepless nights, I stay up way too late. Doing nothing, doing everything. Doing anything really. My mind has wandered to odd places lately. But after fighting excessively with my parents yesterday, and after all the commotion, I was exhausted and ultimately defeated. I can't be an asshole anymore. I need to figure my shit out. I've got all these ideas popping up in my head. I know I don't have any set direction, but the only one I care about is up. Things are looking up, I'm hoping.

Yesterday wasn't a good day, to put it simply. So today was definitely needed. Even my mom noticed my positive attitude, she was happy. We really got into it yesterday, and then I also fucked up and created more issues between my parents. So there was a lot of tension in the house, but it's mostly gone now. I worked 4-close Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It was nice to work some goddamn hours again. After I got off Saturday night around midnight or so, I headed to Spencer's new apartment to see Cassie, Ramsey, Matt and Spencer. Missed all those faces. It was the first time I had gone out in the past three weekends I think. I've resorted back to my old ways and became a homebody again. It just feels so good, I can't help it. Being in bed > anything else.

After class tonight I met up with Michael and Spencer to see Harry Potter. We smoked, and the movie still sort of sucked. I just had no idea what the hell was going on. I want to watch the other ones and get into it, but I'm just kind of bored with it.

I work a lot this weekend, too. My last few paychecks have been decent, and I haven't been spending it like I usually was. Because I've barely gone out, I still have most of it. Staying home has way more pros than cons. I work 8-4 Thanksgiving morning, then 8:30-430 Friday, 4-close Saturday and 5-close Sunday. I don't really have any plans this weekend so I won't mind working late. I need the money.

My sister brought home spaghetti from her early lunch and so that's what I had for breakfast when I woke up. And then another big bowl for lunch. There's still some left in the fridge, I'll probably eat it later today. When I got home from the movie, I remembered my mom had brought home broccoli cheddar soup from Panera Bread. And I just watched today's episode of All My Children, and David is actually alive! I am so fucking happy, I was pissed when they said he was dead. Loving life today.

Next week won't be so stressful, I think. And if I'm right, I'm driving to see Ashley immediately. I've got a lot of shit I need to do, and I swear I'm going to. I'm over being stupid. I don't want to be a negative bitch anymore. I'm really trying to snap out of it, just give me some time. I'm going to be normal again, I promise!

I'm starting to care again. All these shitty situations are somehow turning into pleasant surprises. I am pleased.

Please don't stop. I want to keep smiling.

Still listening to Say Anything right now. Goddamnit. I just can't stop, and I don't wanna.