Everyone's posting about voting on facebook and whatnot, like they're really excited. I already voted a few days ago and mailed it in instead. I'm just really annoyed with all this crap, I could care less about it. All these political propagandistic commercials are so poorly done. They say whatever they can about the opponent, when they should be focusing on their own issues and agenda. And I don't agree with anyone anyway, so I'm not going to be pleased with whoever it is that wins. But whoever does win, I sure hope it's not a democrat. I don't believe in the political parties, I'd rather listen to someone rant about government conspiracies. Anything that's not a political party, really, because it's all too skewed for me to agree with. Nothing matters in the end.
I had to drop Boots off this morning at the vet, he's going to get neutered. I feel so bad, he just discovered his manhood recently and now we're going to take it away from him. I just don't want to see him masturbating anymore, it's very awkward for me cause he'll be sitting right next to me. And plus I don't want him out at night running around with all the slutty cats. Supposedly getting your cat neutered is supposed to calm them down, so we'll see. I don't want him to lose his fun personality, I'm sure he won't. I have to pick him up tomorrow morning...he's going to hate me. They made me put him in a cage in a room with all these other crying cats, and he gave me this face that I can't get out of my head. He won't forgive me for this, I know it.
I miss him so much already. I don't want to go the whole day without seeing his adorable face.
I am pretty exhausted. I'm doing homework all the time when I'm in my room, so I tried avoiding it for a while. Then all my homework piled up again over the weekend since I neglected all responsibility due to halloween activities. Friday was so fun, Cassie and I had a blast in our costumes. It was cool walking around and hearing Wayne's World quotes all night. I got pretty drunk, that was fun. I haven't been that drunk in a while. We came back to my house and eventually I passed out. Saturday I drove to Cassie and hung out in that area with some friends. Didn't do anything on Sunday, except homework and being a bum. I was so tired I passed out around eight or nine. We barely had any trick-or-treaters, it was kind of sad. Our neighborhood was dark and quiet most of the time. So glad I got to sleep though, it was desperately needed. Woke up early Monday to write an essay, went to both my classes. Came home and had to complete an assignment before midnight, then I rushed to finish other assignments due today because I knew I wouldn't have the time (more like the energy) to finish it before class. I had to wake up so early today. Yes, 7:30 is early to me. To some others, not so much. I wish I could nap hella hard right now, but I have so much studying to do for two tests tomorrow. One is extremely important, it's for my art history class. I bombed the last one so this one is definitely important. And I still have homework that I should finish today. I'm so annoyed, a total slit-wrists moment. I can't wait for the semester to be over. Five or six weeks are left. Just waiting 'til I can wake up and not feel the burden of schoolwork hanging over my head.
The only thing I'm actually pleased with at this moment is the fact that I'm going to work enough hours this weekend to produce a mediocre check. The last few have certainly been too small, but if I'm correct, I should work somewhere around thirteen hours this weekend. And then a few more including this Thursday, I'm working the midnight showing for Due Date, Megamind, and For Colored Girls. That will be an interesting crowd, ha. And this check that I'm getting on Friday will be alright, it'll have the two shifts I worked two weekends ago on it. I need money, I'm constantly wringing my life out like a wet cloth. Every drip is still something. I'll take anything. I took all the change I've been collecting for the past few months, and got $27. I'm so desperate, maybe I should go to the mall and jack all the change at the bottom of the water fountains. I don't give a shit, I need cash. My sister's boyfriend bought my nikon D40, so there's some money I can sit on for a few days. It just sucks because basically all of that money I have to hand over immediately to my mom and my sister, because I owe them a lot. Money comes and goes so quickly.
I have the worst tummy ache right now. I always do after eating, so it's just a stupid, pointless cycle. My body hates me. I'm starting to hate me, too. Why can't I just be normal and healthy and eat food like everyone else!
I really miss my grandma, and I really miss Reggie. I think about them a lot.
My phone is giving up on me. It shuts off randomly way too often, and now I'm just over it. I ignore it and leave it, which obviously isn't the correct solution. But I just don't want to deal with it. I'll fix it eventually, when I actually have time to talk to my dad. I wish I saw him more lately, he's been so busy with work. It must suck to get called out at three in the morning for an emergency, a few nights a week sometimes. I don't want to grow up.
I've realized my social life has slowly died out again, but I'm too caught up in my own problems to notice. Besides school I have several personal conflicts that I'm consumed with, so I can't wait for school to end so I can take a deep breath and relax for a second.
I'm procrastinating in every aspect of my life. I'm serious, every single one. I feel like a robot, doing the same thing every day. Lately I have been void of any real emotion, and I'll admit I don't want to feel. I am exhausted. I just want to sleep. I'm sorry.
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