"I think if he got an erection, he'd cry."

I feel like it's been forever. but it hasn't. Days, maybe a week. Maybe a little more. Time is killing me right now. It's slow and painful, and a haunting reminder.

I wish it would leave my head. I wish you would leave my head.

School blows. I'm beginning to hate it. Starting to hate the people I called friends, but that always happens. Everyone just annoys me. All childish and rude and impulsive. Keep your filthy hands to yourself, you animals.

My mom hates me right now, because of my closet. I think I have a problem...seriously. Cleaning it is impossible. I feel like a hoarder. and that's a horrible feeling. Have you seen that show? fuck that.

Work sucks, too. Tonight was fun, but lately it's been lame. Drama with baby mamas. Starting to hate coming to work, and that's a bummer. I really did enjoy it at one time.

My stomach has been tossing and turning...I'm not sure if it's because the antibiotics or my horrible eating habits lately...I feel like my stomach is going to explode. It's so painful, and it won't move. It just sits and eats at me. It's hard not to cry. I laid on my mom's lap, as she stroked my hair, and it was comforting. but the moment I sat up, it returned. why, why, why.

I've been smoking so much. My eyesight is blurry and awkward, my thoughts are irrational. but when I smoke, I'm happy. The happiest I have been in a while. I see nothing, I hear the silence. I'm peaceful and and energetic at the same time. I feel...good.

Over the past few days of not having my computer, I thought about so many things to write.

but at the moment, my mind has gone blank.

I guess I'll come back to this later.

...time to watch true blood. addicting. screw twilight, this is some sweet vampire shit.