Not really, but I wanted to say that. made me feel better.
It's alright. I haven't done much lately. School's been lame, not much going on. Two A's are now B's. blahblahblah, whatever. Don't really care.
My moods shift on and off. I'll be smiling, but it'll fold into a facial expression that reads discomfort, and a slight hint of guilt.
I keep staring at my hands, as if they'll write something exciting, something new...something I don't know. But I know everything. I know too much. My head aches.
I've created such a sweet set of tunes, but my itouch ipod or whatever the fuck it is, doesn't work. so fucking mad! Gotta get a new one. and I was so excited to carry that bitch around. man. now I gotta wait a few more days.
It's winter break now. I'm quite stoked, to be honest. So much sleep, definitely gonna catch up on sleep. I woke up so grumpy this morning. But two weeks off of school, how fucking nice. Love breaks, all kinds of breaks. This one shall be cozy. but probably cold, goddamnit, I hate the cold..
Went to Cassie's birthday party tonight at Keith Paull's house. Saw Cassie, of course, and Hannah, Kyle Thomas, Keith, Madison, Baker, Mike, Sabrina, Care, Jeremy, Alison, Ramsey, Jared, Spencer, Matt and I met some weird guy, Amir. hahah, such an odd dude. But it was really nice to see everyone, missed a lot of 'em. it was fun.
So happy Cassie's back. this winter break will be fun cause I have my best friend back. yayayay.
and I made plans with a few people, because I just miss them so. Taking Kyle Thomas to a movie, hanging out with Sabrina, and eating with Ramsey? ha, I hope this winter break goes well.
Time off always feels so good. but I'm just going to forget everything...that doesn't feel good. but oh well.
enjoying my life. smile. enjoy. repeat.
I'm not good at playing these games. I don't know what some things mean, how they're meant to sound, what silence really says. I used to think I understood...but now, I can't seem to grasp it. playful and witty. Some are just not worth it. but I learn. live and learn. agh, I hate that saying.
Tummy is growling...oof. Don't want to wake anyone, damn. and I have work at 9:30 in the morning. I thought I started at 2, but I was definitely wrong...such a bummer.
When I saw those tattoos on your neck, I couldn't help but cry. I was so upset. With you, with your stupid choices. I know you want to say that you're going to succeed and that you'll show everyone, flip everyone off in the end...but getting those permanently on your neck, for everyone to see. You just fucked yourself over. I feel like I care more about you then you care about yourself. I just wish you'd think. You say you do, but I don't think you do...you always bitch about society's rules and whatnot. but if you're asking to become a part of it, you should play by the rules. just enough, 'til you're in, 'til you're successful, stable. But it is your life. And you can do whatever you want. And I really hope you do, that you do become a teacher, or a business man, whatever your many dreams are. but those tattoos...goddamnit, I just want to smack you for doing that to yourself. I care about you so much. please, please, please, just think. start thinking.
I think I'm gonna call it a night. not really, I'll probably stay up. But this blog has reached it's end.
I'm losing all positive feelings. better hurry before it's too late.
goodnight.
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