I smell optimism, possibly. The past few days have been exhausting and stressful, but now that they have passed...I can breathe. I need to stop stressing so much. I'm going to have a heart attack.
I'm always asking questions. They're all I think of. What if, what if, what if.
It is officially october, and I'm going to be positive and smile. Last halloween was boring. I stayed home with kyle, and the year before that, I spent crying in the dark room of a house at a party, because of kyle. I hope this one is enjoyable. goddamnit, please, let it be enjoyable. I always have a shitty time on halloween. It is a horrible pattern that I really want to break.
Lost my car for a few days, but I have money again. It is such a relief.
I'm struggling with some school issues right now, but I'm figuring it out. I bombed the essay part of the art history test, but hopefully I did alright on the short answers and other questions. It's over, so I'm avoiding thinking about it. if I don't think about it, it didn't happen.
I like forgetting things. it makes it easier for me.
I'm counting the days 'til I see max bemis sing, I'm so excited. and I'm going to san francisco for a couple of days with josh. that's going to be fun, I love that place. I hope it's not so chilly this time, oof.
I wonder if I'll get to sleep in today. I can't remember the last time I slept in. it was definitely before school started. Fuck. being busy is so tiring, I just want to lay around for a few weeks to recover.
I need sleep. I need sleep. I need sleep.
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