you're no better than a lonely sailor

Sunday night was more eventful than I had thought it would be.

I got off work at 4:30, and ashley drove down from thousand oaks and came to the theatre. we went home and met up, smoked, then went to panera bread. it was delicious, as always. came home, smoked, watched the new episode of true blood. which was insanely good, as always. ashley had caught up to where we are in the middle of season three. that's a true friend right there. then we decided to see a movie, so we smoked, made a trip to rite aid for hair dye, another trip to walmart to get some candy, and saw dinner for schmucks. definitely a disappointment. came home, smoked, had some beer, and we dyed our hair. and those hours I spent intoxicated in my room, I received the oddest IMs or calls. just random people on facebook that I never talk to, and never want to talk to. then I received a call from an ex who started to cry and hung up on me because I wouldn't say "I love you, too." all the while I'm sitting there, just high and happy, watching ashley fall asleep on my bed. I looked at everything from a different perspective, and I realized - I am very pleased with my life right now. I don't want anyone from my past to continue to be a part of my future. I left you there for a reason. you are so dramatic, and my life is extremely easy without you.

I finally fell asleep around five, I stayed up and watched the new episode of big brother with ashley passed out next to me. the morning light was leaking through my dirty blinds and I felt good. tired, but happy.

every time I hear a song that I used to feel for you, I now feel against you. I don't know how to explain it. but my heart doesn't ache. my stomach doesn't drop. every lyric becomes my defense. the whole situation was so silly. I wish you the best of luck.

I have everything I could want these days. and I realize that I am extremely content and I appreciate all that I have. I've got a clean room, a good car, the best pets, good friends, my family, my home, a nice guy, weed, good music, a good job, and school.

my past is old news. you are old news.

I am a happy little girl. smiling.