into the white

Well, it's been a week. at this moment, I am tired. I am drained. I don't want to move.

my positive attitude has slowly morphed into just an apathetic state of mind. but that's okay. all is well.

I just got home. I am drunk, I guess. I am out of it. I am...I don't know. I just am.

money sucks. I thought this bank thing would work out, but it's just making me more upset. screw the economy, screw the idea of money. screw not having it.

also, school wasn't that bad. my classes aren't too difficult. the only one I know I will struggle with immediately will be the art history class. I find the material really interesting, and I even like the teacher. I just know I will have a hard time with memorizing all the facts and names. my memory really blows lately.

I wish you would stop calling me and writing me. I don't know if you think these voicemails and depressing texts are helping the situation. I am done with you. please let me live my life. you've already held me back from so much; now that I am happy, I won't sink back down for you. the last time I saw you, you finally admitted it was your fault. and it is, I won't take the blame. I deserve better and I am moving on with my life.

I wish I could say I wanted to remain friends, but you can't even respect me enough to be honest with me. it's been almost nine months since we've been apart. and the last time I saw you, you still had the nerve to lie straight to my face. a year and a half full of so many moments, and all for nothing. at this moment, I just don't care anymore. good luck with everything, take care.

today's sunday. that means true blood. fuck yes.