black holes and revelations

I guess this would be considered my last night of summer.

I must say I'm bummed. I didn't even think about it like that 'til someone mentioned it today. school starts tomorrow. school. I don't want to remember what school feels like. I'm not even prepared. I don't think I have any notebooks, any paper, and I have no idea where any pencils are. I don't know anything right now.

I've just been in limbo lately. I've forgotten what's going on around me. because I've been happy. I've been out of my mind. in a few ways.

I forgot what it feels like to feel happy.

this past week or two, I've worked my whole shift a few times. that was cool. I'm glad I got a bank account, because the money is out of my hands, and out of my mind. and it's nice knowing I have money, sitting somewhere safely.

on monday, josh had asked me to accompany him to dinner on thursday. of course I said yes. we went to a place called phlight in whittier, and I had a really nice time. we tried these things called 'bacon-wrapped dates', and judging by the taste of it, it was a ball of cheese covered in bacon. there was something in the center of it, but I have no idea what it was. it was very odd. but overall, the dinner went well. our conversations are always entertaining and enjoyable. after dinner we went back to his house and watched american psycho. cuddling with him and his adorable dog buttons was definitely the highlight of the night for me. I could get used to this.

I went to the growlers show on friday with ryan. that was fun, as always. growlers shows always rule, but each time I go to one, the kids get more aggressive. some dick always starts it off shoving people around, then everyone starts shoving and pushing. it's one thing to dance and maybe bump into someone by accident, but to fucking shove people around as hard as they did, it really got on my nerves. what the hell is the point? you guys are assholes. I can't enjoy a goddamn song without having to keep my arms up to block myself from harm or some asshole stomping on my feet. blegh. I saw sheilahn, and she "dddanced" with me for most of their set. I love her, and I miss her dearly.

comadre also played, that was sweet. saw a few of my friends getting into it, which was funny. different friends of mine, from different cities/states, and I watched them jump all over each other and sing with each other into the mic. it was awesome. very enjoyable.

Boots is passed out on my chest right now. I am full and pleased, and getting quite sleepy. I guess my last day of summer was alright. I worked, smoked, ate quiznos, took my mom to see the other guys, ate too many milkduds, smoked, watched true blood with my sister, smoked, watched big brother, smoked, ate an easy mac, and now I'm blogging about it.

reviewing my summer, I must say - I am pleased with everything. my car has been a big highlight of my summer. also, becoming best friends with ashley. smoking, all our hilarious and ridiculous moments. cassie coming home and seeing her, that also ruled. going to the fair, catching up. working and receiving alright paychecks. been to a couple of good shows this summer. seen a few good movies. meeting new friends, hanging out with old ones. meeting josh, getting boots. growing up. putting the past away.

I'm realizing what happiness should feel like.