I'm a big jumbled, smiling mess right now.
I'm not happy, I'm not upset. I'm not anything.
I am high. that's one thing. but I don't know what I'm feeling. I guess I'm not feeling anything.
I have satisfaction issues. I know this. everything just lacks, or is too much. it's never just right. I hate that I can't settle.
I want to paint. I have eager hands, but no where to rest them. I hate the imperfections that I find in everything I come in to contact with. I just want some comfort. familiarity. my fingertips ache for familiarity. constantly.
I hate how much the flaws make me feel regret, and nostalgic.
I hate how fast things can happen, and how fast they can end.
just wanna lay in bed all day.
I enjoy sleep more than anything.
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