number nine with my head on the bar

Seems like a good time to blog.

Listening to brand new, eyes closed. just laying here, on top of a gushy, comfy cloud. my fan is cooling down my warm, angry body and my quick-tempered mind. jesse lacey's voice is loud and echoing and it's perfect. I am high, for now. I am calm, for now. I am happy, for now. but I was not happy a few hours ago. and I, most likely, will not be happy later tonight.

I am moody, I am bored, I am spiteful, I am annoyed, I am regretful, I am hurt. I am alone, as usual.

Sound and fury was fun, and santa barbara is sweet. I didn't party like I wanted to, although I did get stoned. quite a lot. they sold edibles there, which was exciting. saw a lot of good bands, lots of friendly faces. there were some moments where I was upset, but overall the weekend was nice. any thought I had about moving to santa barbara quickly disappeared though, ha.

Today was a kids' tuesday, of course. they have seriously calmed down quite a bit since last summer, though, so I am pleased about that. although the mess in the theaters is still disgusting. you'd think after showing free movies to these cheap bastards, they'd have the decency to clean up the mess of all the disgusting knock-off crap they sneak in, but no. they throw it all over the floor. kids' days consist of many mexican families, different daycares full of hyper little shits and buses full of mentally challenged people. they all have one thing in common: I can never understand what the hell they're saying. which makes everything suck. hard.

I work tomorrow, scheduled 2-10. I want to go to moscow with ramsey and everyone, so hopefully I get off early enough.

This saturday, I will be seeing the growlers, for free, with sheilahn and friends. saturday is gonna rule.

and on october 16th, I will be seeing saves the day, say anything and motion city soundtrack, for free. I'm taking ryan because I know he would appreciate it just as much as me.

I need to pick up again. it saddens me how fast I go through my weed as of lately.

I want to take a shower, so I'm going to. I just want to feel clean. I feel so dirty and flawed.

The sun's going to set soon, and at that point I won't even want to go out. I think I'll just stay in and continue to be the homebody I've so humbly become.

"If you let me have my way, I swear I'll tear you apart."