I decided, why not write. What else is there to do, to occupy my time. my mind.
I could sleep. Heaven knows I need to sleep, my eyelids are burning and my eyelids are heavier than ever.
I'm eating chocolate donuts like they're my last meal, ever. One after another, my mouth is dry and my jaw is sore. Funny thing is I'm not even hungry. My stomach's growling, groaning at me to stop. I just feel so...empty. Bored. Blank. I've got nothing. I feel nothing right now.
I just want to sleep.
I'm not in a bad mood. I'm not in a good mood.
I'm just in my bed, on my computer. Doing nothing. Feeling nothing. Being nothing.
This week has been quite lame...school has turned into quite a drag lately. I feel that none of the counselors actually do their job, which is counseling students. They're always somewhere else. And my classes just got boring. Government is a drag because my teacher's sense of humor has really started to annoy me..and English isn't fun anymore because the work we're doing isn't enjoyable or worth it, to me. Take me back to week one, week two. At least I still have all A's. No one can bitch at me this year. I've got my shit on lock.
My old manager called, told me I have an audition for Saturday..err, today. Around 3. I have work at 5, but I'll be a little late. I sort of miss auditions...the spontaneous outcome when you walk into the room to talk to three big adults and act like you can act, put on a smile and be the most adorable, charming kid you can be. Now that I'm older, I think that I'll do a lot better at this. I was the cutest kid, which landed me all my commercial and tv show roles before...but once I got to my awkward tween stage, I had no self-confidence. I couldn't stand sitting in a room, waiting to have my name called, waiting with thirty other cute girls, I was so intimidated. I couldn't do it anymore. Now, I don't give a shit. I think I could definitely jump back into it. Good thing I'm still a part of SAG and that my manager still likes me. Once I start driving in December, I'll definitely let him know I want back in.
Was supposed to pick up tonight, but I guess I will tomorrow. Hap-pee-ness.
The moments where I feel like I'm sinking into myself, questioning it all.
I enjoy every second.
I worked the New Moon midnight showing last night. Fucking insane, over 4,000 people...all eighteen theaters were full. Holy fuck. I've never seen such long lines for the concession stand. Got home a little before two, I think. Didn't even get to sleep 'til four...and I guess some assholes prank-called my house around four, definitely pissed off my mom. I hate childish people like that. I can understand calling someone's cell phone if you want to be an immature dick and you find prank-calls funny, but calling their house? seriously...come on. That's just rude.
Worked again tonight. New Moon has fucked up our theatre, the lines to get into a theatre are ridiculous. So many fucking people still, and it'll be like that for over a week. I don't even want to say "maybe more." But tonight was really entertaining. Sold hearts with Jonay most of the night, drooled over Steven all night, too. I hate that he's leaving in December...tear. ha, such a hot manager. Anyway. We sold a shitload of hearts, and had a lot of fun doing it. We sang our old favorite jams like "poison". Catchy as fuck, brah. Good times.
Got to get up early...got that audition, then work right after.
and Cassie's back in town, I'm sad I can't see her tomorrow, but hopefully I can after work maybe, or definitely Sunday. Screw momo day, she better come out and play.
Have this whole week off of school. That rules pretty hard. I have work Wednesday and Thursday, on thanksgiving. Meh, I don't really care..it's just a dinner. Plus, I get holiday pay. Love my life, at work.
I need sleep. My body's begging me.
goodnight.
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