Life is good. Real good. Just had my third interview at the House of Blues. I'm totally hired. I can't wait to work and make money (and hopefully save a lot of it) this summer. I hope I can keep the theater too, we'll see I guess. BUT YAYAYAYAY LIFE RULES!

People can be so pathetic. I'm glad I'm awesome. This summer is going to be awesome as well.

I switched over to tumblr, and I find it much more entertaining.

See ya later bitches.

I'm figuring out what I want to do with myself. Sort of. I've got two job opportunities, one at the House of Blues and one at Chain Reaction. What are the odds of that. I feel that I have a much greater chance of being hired at HOB, but regardless I just want another damn job already. This hiring process just drags on and on. I just want money. More money please and thank you.

I've been getting a lot of hours at the theater lately cause it's summer; not a bad thing. Maria keeps scheduling me to close every night of the weekend though and it's getting tiring. I'm tired of going out late, I want to have a full night to hang out n' stuff. Man. I wanna keep the theater as a second job just because I love the place so much. I don't wanna lose my friends or the security I have there, I'd be so bummed.

Shit happens. Life has been quite the ride lately, but I can't say that I'm not pleased with the aftermath of it all. Bad things happen to good people, and I'm content with all the shitty things that have happened because it's made me realize who my true friends are. And how awesome I am, and how much you suck.

I've missed several old friends and faces, and I plan on seeing them more often. I'm jumping into summer with a really good attitude. Free as a bird. I just wanna have fun and be with my friends....and hopefully get a tan.

I also have some unfinished business to take care of. Slowly but surely...

makeshift militia

I'm dropping a class. Algebra. In order to pass it, I have to get a certain amount of points...and there is no way I can. I need to bone out now before Sunday, it's the last day to drop. Gonna take it over next semester, with a different teacher I hope. I know I can't blame anyone but myself for failing, but I will blame the teacher for a few things (yes, it's childish to do, but whatever. She was pregnant and a little too moody for me) ... also, I hated the font she used on the tests. Completely threw me off. Yes, all legitimate excuses to me... Other than failing one class, I have an A and two B's. I'm pleased with myself...that's all that matters, right?

Man. I'm tired of arguing, and it feels like I've been arguing a lot lately. With quite a few people. Parents especially. We argue about the dumbest things sometimes...

Biting my lip from now on. Nodding my head and playing along. Blah blah blah.

Don't get me wrong, I love arguing. I thoroughly enjoy it. But as of this moment I'm sooooo over it. I'm tired of picking and choosing my words, walking on eggshells, etc... I get massive headaches. Yay weed!!!

I'm not being very rational lately. It's hurting my head.

Things seem to be looking up, but then I don't know. The House of Blues is going to hire me, but it's taking so long. I just need the job already, I need the money. And I want a Disneyland pass already!

Tomorrow night I'm working the midnight showing for Fast Five. Barf. Good thing I'm box office, I'll only be there for like three hours. Then I close Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. Woe is me.

Wooooooeeeee.

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heavy chest

Up and down lately. I'm pretty much failing my algebra class. I need to do really well on the next two exams. I'm not in a good mood about it.

Very annoyed. Very discouraged.

My birthday's coming up, too bad it's on a Thursday. That Friday Cassie and Ashley are gonna plan something with me, I'm just happy we're all gonna hang out. Jerrod said he got me a really cool gift so I'm excited to see it. What a sweetheart.

Next Monday my friend Bryant is shooting me in some band t-shirts for some company. He asked if I'd be down...duh. I'm just happy he's shooting me, he rules.

I've got work at 6 tonight, I'm off a little before 11. Thank god I'm in box office all the time now. Hopefully hanging with Jerrod after I get off.

I just want spring break to be here already, I want a week off of school. That sounds so pleasant.

---Nothing.

Realizing lately it's always better when you don't say anything at all. Ignorance IS bliss indeed.

Bite your lip! Hold your tongue! Just shut up. Wait.

I am losing focus. Eh, I can't even say I'm losing it because it's already gone. I can't focus.

Having a fun social life and spending lots of time with my boyfriend has made me stupid. I was always a procrastinator but now I do things so half-ass that I know it won't turn out right in the end, yet I continue to just swing it. Go with it. "You'll do fine!" "Don't worry about it." "You know this crap." No, what I should have done was actually complete the homework, give a shit about what I'm learning, and not put everything off 'til the morning of. I know I bombed my test today in my algebra class, and she gave me 0 points for the homework. I didn't show any work. I can fucking do those problems in my head...but I did copy some of 'em from the back of the book. But still, I did most of 'em in my head. So I'm not happy. I shouldn't even be in this stupid class, I passed algebra 1 and 2 in high school, why the fuck am I in this class anyway...oh yeah, I couldn't pass the placement test. Just found out today though if you tell them you've already completed those that they'll place you where you need to be placed. Glad I'm in the class for no reason then.

I lost focus. I want it back.

I can't blame anyone but myself though. I just get so lazy.

I'm hanging with Cassie today, thank goodness. I need Cassie-time. It's so fucking hot today, I want to go to the beach but I'm sure there'll be plenty of other hot days to go. I just need a tan, bad.

I've been working decent hours, I usually stay my full shift. And I'm picking up shifts, so I'm pleased about that. Money, I NEED IT!

I'm so hungry. Weed. Matzoh. All My Children.

Time to eat my feelings and watch a dramatic soap opera. The usual.

my highs, you inspire

Last Thursday- Jerrod and I went to LA to see Alkaline Trio and it was awesome. I completely forgot it was St Patrick's Day for most of the day, but I realized it again when I saw the separation between the 21 and over crowd and the not-21-yet crowd. I wish we could have been sipping beers and whatnot, it's a bummer to not be 21. Two more years, and then I'll be getting drunk in many public places! Cheers.

Then Friday morning...err, afternoon Jerrod and I drove up to my river house. The sing-alongs on the way there and the way back were very entertaining. Fun stuff.

I can't wait to go back up to the house, we're planning a trip to go up with Riley, Renee, Brandon and Jen. We'll go when it gets warmer so it's nice and sunny, and the water will be soooo nice. And I can't wait to take Ashley up there, too. It's awesome being a big girl now.

I feel good. Content. Hopeful. Secure. Excited! And very, very pleased.

I am broke as shit, but all is well.

Woke up in a gloomy mood. Not really, I went to bed with the same negative state of mind. My dreams were full of anxiety and now I just don't feel well.

I just feel like a big bitch today.

"What can I do about it?" - Honestly, what can I do about it?

I have no idea, whatsoever. I'm stuck!

Not a care in the world right now. I feel totally secure, and comfortable.

And happy! Really happy.

No more negative me, because I realize that I don't need to be negative. I have no reason to hide my head in the sand and wait for some storm to come along. Instead, I have extremely high hopes for what's ahead of me. I may be broke as shit, but I've got all the things I need and everyone I love.

Love!

"I just hope you don't, hope you don't..."

I am so fucking full, I don't know how I'm going to work tonight. I start at 5, so I only have less than two hours to lay here and hopefully take a nap. Ashley came down and we've been high and eating the whole time. We look pregnant. I want to pass out.

I went to Disneyland yesterday with Cassie, Jerrod and Allix. Had a really fun time. I want to get a pass again, but I still find ways to get inside so maybe I don't have to. I love free shit.

I work all three days this weekend, and I've been working quite a few full shifts lately during the week. These next few paychecks will be lovely, but as for this moment I am pretty broke.

What a funny little predicament I've found myself in. A quiet, uncomfortable predicament.

Forget all the crazy talk. I was going crazy.

I don't feel so crazy anymore. I feel just fine.

Getting really high around the time you're going to get your period is not a good time.

Getting high after that is fine though.

My mom asked me to record the Oscar's this morning, but she asked me right after I had smoked, so...she should've known better. Apparently I recorded the wrong thing, so we missed two hours of it. Guess I have to watch it online, or hopefully at Jerrod's house some time this week.

Took my mom to see I Am Number Four tonight. An hour into it I told her I wanted to leave because it sucked, so as we're walking out she sees Unknown starting at 9:55 (the one she originally wanted to see) so I took her keys and ditched her. Hopefully I remember to go pick her back up soon.

I need to start on my presentation. I'm stupid.

(Stupidly happy.)